Evasion

this is my evasion, clear avoidance of you
switch off my love with the remote control
tune out of your voice and watch Newsnight instead.
empty calories to fill the void you left behind
close the curtains on the moon-world and your face.

i read Plath- it’s for me for me for me
i clean my teeth not for you only for me
for you don’t have to face my consequences
and I don’t need you to show me the way.

but repeats are looming,
my metabolism racing
and the morning just one night away.

txt @ 2am

i want u 2
ur smile makes me child.
4 sumfing 2 du
i txt u @ 2 (am)
no spesh reason
no need 4 excuse
txt bk
plz.
ur wrds r enuf
2 fill miles
n miles.
x

Cafetiere

i loved you despite your flaws
saw pathways to your souls where others saw holes
blocked exits to most- to me they were doors.

but now I see through your rose-tinted spectacle:
two kids
suburban semi with shed
rowdy neighbours
stable career
pension scheme
saturday night glass of wine
swimming club membership
NEXT Loyalty Card
cutlery drawer
cafetiere
those shoes
make up bag
nail file
and the scratches down my back.

Answerphone

his voice is the one tone I dreaded to hear
unavoidable fact turned ice in my ear
loud ringing decibels confirming my fear
flippant ‘can’t take your call’ a stinging smug cheer
seven bus stops away but discomfort is near.

detecting- believing- the influence of beer
repugnant reasons for his knowing jeer
detesting his fumbling, his sleazy base leer.

with hindsight employed I think nothing is clear;
still holding the line i'm still holding her dear